Life.

She was upset that day. Very upset. She had been sick. Her appearance was so calm and cool though, that some people doubted if she actually was feeling low, others simply called her a pretender.

People cannot be stopped from assuming whatever they want to. If you are outspoken and blunt (that too being a girl), they have a simple term to refer u with; a bitch. They would call u a bitch, they wouldn't think if they have been acting like one as well. So, there she was. She was not loved by people very much, yet if they needed any assistance, they had only one name in mind; hers. She was different, people might think she had some psychological defect (which she did have, by the way), so she went from being asocial to being totally extrovert to being an introvert back again. She knew the concept of an ideal person, but she was not one herself. She had no friend, to tell you the truth. Although she was, but people did not assume her a loner because they already had a term to refer her with and it is against human nature to challenge one’s previously held beliefs.

In the past, she has had a broken soul. People thought, since she was always lachrymal, that she cannot survive with such a depressed state of mind. Later, she began to get aggressive; aggression, as you know, is pivotal to survival. So, when loneliness and aggression collided, people were bound to call her what she had been called. She never confided in anybody. At first she thought it made her strong and she was done with people. There came a time when she was so strong that her guard was up with her own self, all the time, day and night; days, weeks, months, a whole year went by and she had not cried once! So, it was building up in her for quite some time. Thinking about her agitated emotional state, it was then that she realized that all she wanted at that moment was to cry it all out. She was praying for tears to come now but they weren't coming. It was a conditioning of a whole year after all. She actually began to try out ways that could make her cry. First, she got in to rows and thought humiliation might work. When it didn't, she tried ordinary self-harm techniques (she was not an advocate of suicide or homicide, by the way, because she did not want to leave her parents lament and deal with what she was dealing with now) that would only cause enough pain to bring out the tears but eventually, it failed too. She thought later, how could she be so stupid to think of ways that she had become so used to already. So, she went for out-of-the-box thinking and tried out simple ways that were so popular in making people cry (and that, by the way, people were very proud of too, because it helped them consider themselves fragile and delicate). She began to read stupid love stories and watch movies that exhibited the stories of unfortunate passive individuals with whom life had been unfair, and, surprisingly, this helped her cry! And cry and cry and cry for days and nights…. People were thinking now that she must be going through a rough patch, hence the swollen eyes and all but she was as happy as a baby is when he gets his id satisfied. So, you see, not everything is ever as it seems.

So, now in the day she was funny and cracked hilarious jokes when she was in company but her face told a different story (from the night’s cry and all). People never asked her anything, you see. They already knew (perhaps unconsciously) that they weren't worth being confided in. 

She lived on. She is still living. She is hoping for the best everyday she wakes up. She's confronted with failures and humiliation many a times, but she's living, you know. That is what she is expected to do. That is what she should do, and this is why she is so amazing!

Aleph by Paulo Coelho: Book Review

Ta-da! Another book review is here! (Disclaimer: The following review is the blogger's personal opinion and has nothing to do with whatever any or everyone else thinks about the book).
Okay, before I go on grumbling about the book, I should tell you that Aleph happens to be a very sacred alphabet for people belonging to many faiths in this world including Moslems, Jews and Christians; it is also the first letter of Hebrew and Arabic language. The name of the Creator of the worlds (as believed by the believers of above mentioned religions) also begins with the same letter. Being a Moslem, I (previously unconsciously and now consciously) also feel immense respect for this letter.

So, a few months back, when I heard that Paulo has written a book with this title, I felt an uncanny wish to read it. I kept looking for it whenever I went out and finally found it. I bought my copy and kept it safely because I had my exams going on back then. I couldn't wait to start it and as soon as I got free, I held Aleph in my hands for consecutive 3 days and nights and most unfortunately and unexpectedly, when I was finished with it, I felt utter feelings of disappointment and disgust. I can not explain why but precisely because Coelho, like many other authors, had amalgamated some very pathetic dogmas with sacred doxology. Not only that but also I found it really ridiculous how he utilized the translation of a Quranic verse (without comprehending the context) for supporting his own cerebration. Coelho was the last man on earth I expected to do such a stupid thing but alas! he did.
Apart from utilizing a witch-hunting event from the past as the basis for his story (which does not appear to be a solid basis), the repetition of the Magical Tradition, Traditions of the sun and moon and other myths (which he has already talked about in Brida and has now become a cliche), the character of Hilal was also questionable. Brida and Hilal seemed to have a lot in common, with the exception that Hilal had an exacerbated sense of sensual pleasure. Coelho, however, has shown nudity to be the only matter of interest for Hilal.
Coelho himself shows an air of indifference towards all the sins he did in his past lives (this life, according to him, is his incarnation as a Brazilian writer). The same indifference he showed towards his wife's disappearance in The Zahir. When it didn't and it doesn't matter to him, why care? This is something he has been unable to explain in his stories (even in the author's note at the end).
Well, the fact remains that apart from all the flaws, he does have some highly philosophical sayings in his books, I'd like to share a few of those here with you all (taken from Aleph):
"If we seek something, that same thing is seeking us"
"Anyone who knows God cannot describe Him, anyone who can describe God does not know Him"
"When God spoke to Moses, He said: "I am", so God is, therefore, neither the subject nor the predicate, He's the verb, the action"
"I free myself from hatred through forgiveness and love. I understand that, suffering, when it can not be avoided, is here to help me on my way to glory"

"I forgive the tears I was made to shed
I forgive the pain and the disappointment
I forgive the betrayals and the lies
I forgive the slanders and the intrigues
I forgive the hatred and the persecution
I forgive the blows that hurt me
I forgive the wrecked dreams
I forgive the still-born hopes
I forgive the hostility and jealousy
I forgive the indifference and ill-will
I forgive the injustice carried out in the name of justice
I forgive the anger and the cruelty
I forgive the neglect and the contempt
I forgive the world and all its evils"
"I understand that all roads meet and all rivers flow in to the same sea. That is why, I am, at this moment, an instrument of forgiveness"
"Dreamers cannot be tamed"
"Spiritual growth doesn't always arrive hand-in-hand with wisdom"
"No one wants to think we'll be saying goodbye shortly and promising to meet up again soon, knowing that the purpose of this promise is simply to make parting easier"

Like there are two sides to every coin, like there are good and bad people in this world, like we all have our good and bad days and like all of us have good and bad aspects in our personalities; this book also had some good and bad stuff in it. I tried and shared both with you here, the choice of including it in your library remains yours. Have a good one! :)

Untitled

"So, why did you try to commit suicide"

" because, things weren't exactly working out according to the plan"

"plan of what sort?"

"forget plan, I would rather use the word expectation"

"what were your expectations?"

"I do not see any of your business in knowing that"

"you have been sent here so that I may be able to help you"

"what makes you think I need your help?"

"your suicide attempt apparently supports that notion"

"listen doc., had anyone on this earth would have been able to help me or had there been anyone I considered trustworthy enough to confide the secrets of my soul in, I wouldn't have attempted the suicide in the first place. I wouldn't say that I am ok, and that I don't need help. No, I am not ok and yes, I do need help but I'm simply not available with the kind of circumstances and people I yearn for"

"what kind of circumstances and people do you yearn for?"

"I think you are simply trying to rephrase your last question that I already refused to answer"

"okay, then tell me what do you expect of me? how can I help you?"

"you can help me by only letting me stay in this hospital until I am in my right mind; there's only one thing that I wish to tell you and that is that I do not want to go back home. now.. I know that it might lead you to think that I am in some kind of conflict with the people back home but let me make this very clear to you that such is not the case"

"I see you can predict my thinking patterns"

"that's because I have studied and practiced what you have studied and are now practicing. I know what my problem is, I diagnosed myself earlier with what you have diagnosed me now and I also know the possible medication and therapies that you might suggest for my existing state of mind so I would like to tell you that these healthy talks and sessions with you are nothing new to me and my state of hopelessness is beyond any of your remedial measures"

"hmm... I see. let's meet up again tomorrow."

the girl on the bed was a little taken aback by the last few words of the handsome young doctor who had been sitting beside her for the past 15 minutes, trying to elicit out of her the so called 'secrets of her soul' and the cause for her suicide.

to be continued...

The ten habits of remarkably charismatic people!

Some people instantly make us feel important. Some people instantly make us feel special. Some people light up a room just by walking in.

We can't always define it, but some people have it: They're naturally charismatic.

Unfortunately, natural charisma quickly loses its impact. Familiarity breeds, well, familiarity.

But some people are remarkably charismatic: They build and maintain great relationships, consistently influence (in a good way) the people around them, consistently make people feel better about themselves--they're the kind of people everyone wants to be around...and wants to be.

Fortunately we can, because being remarkably charismatic isn't about our level of success or our presentation skills or how we dress or the image we project--it's about what we do.

Here are the 10 habits of remarkably charismatic people (as for me, I like the last one the most!):

1. They listen way more than they talk.

Ask questions. Maintain eye contact. Smile. Frown. Nod. Respond--not so much verbally, but nonverbally.

That's all it takes to show the other person they're important.

Then when you do speak, don't offer advice unless you're asked. Listening shows you care a lot more than offering advice, because when you offer advice in most cases you make the conversation about you, not them.

Don't believe me? Who is "Here's what I would do..." about: you or the other person?

Only speak when you have something important to say--and always define important as what matters to the other person, not to you.

2. They don't practice selective hearing.

Some people--I guarantee you know people like this--are incapable of hearing anything said by the people they feel are somehow beneath them.

Sure, you speak to them, but that particular falling tree doesn't make a sound in the forest, because there's no one actually listening.

Remarkably charismatic people listen closely to everyone, and they make all of us, regardless of our position or social status or "level," feel like we have something in common with them.

Because we do: We're all people.

3. They put their stuff away.

Don't check your phone. Don't glance at your monitor. Don't focus on anything else, even for a moment.

You can never connect with others if you're busy connecting with your stuff, too.

Give the gift of your full attention. That's a gift few people give. That gift alone will make others want to be around you and remember you.

4. They give before they receive--and often they never receive.

Never think about what you can get. Focus on what you can provide. Giving is the only way to establish a real connection and relationship.

Focus, even in part and even for a moment, on what you can get out of the other person, and you show that the only person who really matters is you.

5. They don't act self-important…

The only people who are impressed by your stuffy, pretentious, self-important self are other stuffy, pretentious, self-important people.

The rest of us aren't impressed. We're irritated, put off, and uncomfortable.

And we hate when you walk in the room.

6. …Because they realize other people are more important.

You already know what you know. You know your opinions. You know your perspectives and points of view.

That stuff isn't important, because it's already yours. You can't learn anything from yourself.

But you don't know what other people know, and everyone, no matter who they are, knows things you don't know.

That makes them a lot more important than you--because they're people you can learn from.

7. They shine the spotlight on others.

No one receives enough praise. No one. Tell people what they did well.

Wait, you say you don't know what they did well?

Shame on you--it's your job to know. It's your job to find out ahead of time.

Not only will people appreciate your praise, they'll appreciate the fact you care enough to pay attention to what they're doing.

Then they'll feel a little more accomplished and a lot more important.

8. They choose their words.

The words you use impact the attitude of others.

For example, you don't have to go to a meeting; you get to go meet with other people. You don't have to create a presentation for a new client; you get to share cool stuff with other people. You don't have to go to the gym; you get to work out and improve your health and fitness.

We all want to associate with happy, enthusiastic, fulfilled people. The words you choose can help other people feel better about themselves--and make you feel better about yourself, too.

9. They don't discuss the failings of others...

Granted, we all like hearing a little gossip. We all like hearing a little dirt.

The problem is, we don't necessarily like--and we definitely don't respect--the people who dish that dirt.

Don't laugh at other people. When you do, the people around you wonder if you sometimes laugh at them.

10. ...But they readily admit their failings.

Incredibly successful people are often assumed to have charisma simply because they're successful. Their success seems to create a halo effect, almost like a glow.

The keyword is seem.

You don't have to be incredibly successful to be remarkably charismatic. Scratch the shiny surface, and many successful people have all the charisma of a rock.

But you do have to be incredibly genuine to be remarkably charismatic.

Be humble. Share your screwups. Admit your mistakes. Be the cautionary tale. And laugh at yourself.

While you should never laugh at other people, you should always laugh at yourself.

People won't laugh at you. People will laugh laugh with you.

They'll like you better for it--and they'll want to be around you a lot more.

Courtesy (except the Italic line): http://smallbusiness.yahoo.com/advisor/the-ten-habits-of-remarkably-charismatic-people.html

The Best Work of Fiction to Date!

I have been reading a lot of novels lately. Some of them were fine, others were just fine. I can't really remember the last novel that had a lasting impact on me. I know, the mistake might have been on my side because I was committed to complete the 'collection' rather than giving my real attention, perception and imagination to any of those. And tell you what, none of them were themselves not so 'out-of-the-world' to grab my attention as well!
So, coming to what I have in my mind right now, I (the numb gal) finally came across a novel that moved me and when I say moved me, I mean it! It actually brought me to tears! I am referring to an Urdu genre novel published in 2004 by one of the most renowned writers of Pakistan. The novel, without a doubt, is Peer-e-kaamil (S.A.W.W).

Since, my most favorite language to read stuff in is English, so I did not have the courage to read it until it was translated in English. Most recently, I came across a translated version of this book in one of the malls I was visiting. I had heard a lot about it and I knew that one day I will definitely be reading it (in Urdu of course, because I had no idea that Umera herself would be so generous to translate it in English for a non-lexical like me). So there it was, when I found this enchanting book and that too in English, I had every intention to buy it and as soon as I turned the book to see how much did it cost, I was bound to put it back in the shelf from where I had picked it! :( =P

That day, I came home and searched for the same version on the internet and I was relieved and euphoric and excited and flabbergasted to find a PDF version of it and that too 'free-of-cost'! =D

So, I began it.... Oh! and in less than 3 and a half days, I was over and done with it and I was startled to see how much it had touched my heart that my eyes could not get dry for another three days following the completion of the book! It is a master-piece, a real spell-binding, alluring and entrancing book that moved me (the numb gal, as you remember I have mentioned in the beginning). I strongly recommend all my readers to read this novel (which I doubt, if you already haven't).

Hats-off to Umera Ahmed!

Poor Veronika!

heya!

So I mean, yes! I got addicted to Coelho's writings. 

I read another one- Veronika Decides to Die. A young, juvenile, good-looking woman who attempted suicide because her life lacked adventure. 

There were very few characters in the novel (except of course the staff of the hospital). The two mad-women that Veronika encounters during her short stay in the hospital, Mari and Zedka. The schizophrenic Eduard, whom Veronika eventually falls in love with and the main character (actually more significant than the girl whose name has been used in the title) Dr. Igor who happened to be the director of the Mental asylum- Vilette. The writer takes you in to the lives of each and everyone named above (including Veronika herself, of course). Half of the time, I kept wondering that what do we have to do with the lives of those with whom the heroine had an encounter, all we- the readers, needed to know was whether or not Veronika made it in the end (although the writer was keeping up the hopes that she had very little to live but being optimists, we still mange to hope for the things that seem unmanageable, unreachable and impossible). 

So, never mind if Veronika could or couldn't make it through but what I figured out in the end that the story of Zedka (the depressed), Mari (the one who got panic-attacks), Eduard (the schizophrenic) and Veronika herself (the failed suicidal case) was of little importance as compared to the interesting and completely emotionless plot set up by the director of the asylum- Dr. Igor. I must say, Doc Igor! You're the man!

Brida- the witch.

Whoa!

Another one by Coelho finished- Brida. Before I discuss about the story of the novel and the way it has been put forth and the character sketch and the impression the novel has left on me, I would like to share a little history associated with this particular novel. The first time I heard about Paulo, I came home, turned the internet on and searched for this author's work. I found all the novels written by him and the only title that attracted me (more than the title that was actually suggested to me for a read) was this- Brida. I have no idea why but when I wrote Brida in the toolbar of the search engine, I discovered this front cover of the novel:

Surprisingly, I found this cover and again, unknowingly, my interest exceeded. I was desperate for this novel. I downloaded many novels by Paulo but Brida was included in my list of the top three (which was neither suggested to me nor was it in the most famous works by Paulo). And so my curiosity led me to finish it in a mere duration of 24 hours. 

A spell-binding novel, no doubt! Brida- an ordinary Irish girl with a special Gift for witchcraft set out on a journey to find out answers to her questions about life. The first person she came across (the Magus) was the one she is expected to go with in the end but the end turns out to be even more startling and to some extent- frightening for the ones who are hoping to see the soul-mates together. But the aim of the novel, as far as I figured out, was that not all persons necessarily have 'one' soul-mate. And therefore, we shall always be prepared to never try to 'own' or 'possess' somebody we love because we never know what the fate has in store for us but at the same time, never stop loving too- For when we stop loving, we cease to comprehend the meaning of existence.

The novel was, altogether, a good read :)