Life.

She was upset that day. Very upset. She had been sick. Her appearance was so calm and cool though, that some people doubted if she actually was feeling low, others simply called her a pretender.

People cannot be stopped from assuming whatever they want to. If you are outspoken and blunt (that too being a girl), they have a simple term to refer u with; a bitch. They would call u a bitch, they wouldn't think if they have been acting like one as well. So, there she was. She was not loved by people very much, yet if they needed any assistance, they had only one name in mind; hers. She was different, people might think she had some psychological defect (which she did have, by the way), so she went from being asocial to being totally extrovert to being an introvert back again. She knew the concept of an ideal person, but she was not one herself. She had no friend, to tell you the truth. Although she was, but people did not assume her a loner because they already had a term to refer her with and it is against human nature to challenge one’s previously held beliefs.

In the past, she has had a broken soul. People thought, since she was always lachrymal, that she cannot survive with such a depressed state of mind. Later, she began to get aggressive; aggression, as you know, is pivotal to survival. So, when loneliness and aggression collided, people were bound to call her what she had been called. She never confided in anybody. At first she thought it made her strong and she was done with people. There came a time when she was so strong that her guard was up with her own self, all the time, day and night; days, weeks, months, a whole year went by and she had not cried once! So, it was building up in her for quite some time. Thinking about her agitated emotional state, it was then that she realized that all she wanted at that moment was to cry it all out. She was praying for tears to come now but they weren't coming. It was a conditioning of a whole year after all. She actually began to try out ways that could make her cry. First, she got in to rows and thought humiliation might work. When it didn't, she tried ordinary self-harm techniques (she was not an advocate of suicide or homicide, by the way, because she did not want to leave her parents lament and deal with what she was dealing with now) that would only cause enough pain to bring out the tears but eventually, it failed too. She thought later, how could she be so stupid to think of ways that she had become so used to already. So, she went for out-of-the-box thinking and tried out simple ways that were so popular in making people cry (and that, by the way, people were very proud of too, because it helped them consider themselves fragile and delicate). She began to read stupid love stories and watch movies that exhibited the stories of unfortunate passive individuals with whom life had been unfair, and, surprisingly, this helped her cry! And cry and cry and cry for days and nights…. People were thinking now that she must be going through a rough patch, hence the swollen eyes and all but she was as happy as a baby is when he gets his id satisfied. So, you see, not everything is ever as it seems.

So, now in the day she was funny and cracked hilarious jokes when she was in company but her face told a different story (from the night’s cry and all). People never asked her anything, you see. They already knew (perhaps unconsciously) that they weren't worth being confided in. 

She lived on. She is still living. She is hoping for the best everyday she wakes up. She's confronted with failures and humiliation many a times, but she's living, you know. That is what she is expected to do. That is what she should do, and this is why she is so amazing!