Life.

She was upset that day. Very upset. She had been sick. Her appearance was so calm and cool though, that some people doubted if she actually was feeling low, others simply called her a pretender.

People cannot be stopped from assuming whatever they want to. If you are outspoken and blunt (that too being a girl), they have a simple term to refer u with; a bitch. They would call u a bitch, they wouldn't think if they have been acting like one as well. So, there she was. She was not loved by people very much, yet if they needed any assistance, they had only one name in mind; hers. She was different, people might think she had some psychological defect (which she did have, by the way), so she went from being asocial to being totally extrovert to being an introvert back again. She knew the concept of an ideal person, but she was not one herself. She had no friend, to tell you the truth. Although she was, but people did not assume her a loner because they already had a term to refer her with and it is against human nature to challenge one’s previously held beliefs.

In the past, she has had a broken soul. People thought, since she was always lachrymal, that she cannot survive with such a depressed state of mind. Later, she began to get aggressive; aggression, as you know, is pivotal to survival. So, when loneliness and aggression collided, people were bound to call her what she had been called. She never confided in anybody. At first she thought it made her strong and she was done with people. There came a time when she was so strong that her guard was up with her own self, all the time, day and night; days, weeks, months, a whole year went by and she had not cried once! So, it was building up in her for quite some time. Thinking about her agitated emotional state, it was then that she realized that all she wanted at that moment was to cry it all out. She was praying for tears to come now but they weren't coming. It was a conditioning of a whole year after all. She actually began to try out ways that could make her cry. First, she got in to rows and thought humiliation might work. When it didn't, she tried ordinary self-harm techniques (she was not an advocate of suicide or homicide, by the way, because she did not want to leave her parents lament and deal with what she was dealing with now) that would only cause enough pain to bring out the tears but eventually, it failed too. She thought later, how could she be so stupid to think of ways that she had become so used to already. So, she went for out-of-the-box thinking and tried out simple ways that were so popular in making people cry (and that, by the way, people were very proud of too, because it helped them consider themselves fragile and delicate). She began to read stupid love stories and watch movies that exhibited the stories of unfortunate passive individuals with whom life had been unfair, and, surprisingly, this helped her cry! And cry and cry and cry for days and nights…. People were thinking now that she must be going through a rough patch, hence the swollen eyes and all but she was as happy as a baby is when he gets his id satisfied. So, you see, not everything is ever as it seems.

So, now in the day she was funny and cracked hilarious jokes when she was in company but her face told a different story (from the night’s cry and all). People never asked her anything, you see. They already knew (perhaps unconsciously) that they weren't worth being confided in. 

She lived on. She is still living. She is hoping for the best everyday she wakes up. She's confronted with failures and humiliation many a times, but she's living, you know. That is what she is expected to do. That is what she should do, and this is why she is so amazing!

Aleph by Paulo Coelho: Book Review

Ta-da! Another book review is here! (Disclaimer: The following review is the blogger's personal opinion and has nothing to do with whatever any or everyone else thinks about the book).
Okay, before I go on grumbling about the book, I should tell you that Aleph happens to be a very sacred alphabet for people belonging to many faiths in this world including Moslems, Jews and Christians; it is also the first letter of Hebrew and Arabic language. The name of the Creator of the worlds (as believed by the believers of above mentioned religions) also begins with the same letter. Being a Moslem, I (previously unconsciously and now consciously) also feel immense respect for this letter.

So, a few months back, when I heard that Paulo has written a book with this title, I felt an uncanny wish to read it. I kept looking for it whenever I went out and finally found it. I bought my copy and kept it safely because I had my exams going on back then. I couldn't wait to start it and as soon as I got free, I held Aleph in my hands for consecutive 3 days and nights and most unfortunately and unexpectedly, when I was finished with it, I felt utter feelings of disappointment and disgust. I can not explain why but precisely because Coelho, like many other authors, had amalgamated some very pathetic dogmas with sacred doxology. Not only that but also I found it really ridiculous how he utilized the translation of a Quranic verse (without comprehending the context) for supporting his own cerebration. Coelho was the last man on earth I expected to do such a stupid thing but alas! he did.
Apart from utilizing a witch-hunting event from the past as the basis for his story (which does not appear to be a solid basis), the repetition of the Magical Tradition, Traditions of the sun and moon and other myths (which he has already talked about in Brida and has now become a cliche), the character of Hilal was also questionable. Brida and Hilal seemed to have a lot in common, with the exception that Hilal had an exacerbated sense of sensual pleasure. Coelho, however, has shown nudity to be the only matter of interest for Hilal.
Coelho himself shows an air of indifference towards all the sins he did in his past lives (this life, according to him, is his incarnation as a Brazilian writer). The same indifference he showed towards his wife's disappearance in The Zahir. When it didn't and it doesn't matter to him, why care? This is something he has been unable to explain in his stories (even in the author's note at the end).
Well, the fact remains that apart from all the flaws, he does have some highly philosophical sayings in his books, I'd like to share a few of those here with you all (taken from Aleph):
"If we seek something, that same thing is seeking us"
"Anyone who knows God cannot describe Him, anyone who can describe God does not know Him"
"When God spoke to Moses, He said: "I am", so God is, therefore, neither the subject nor the predicate, He's the verb, the action"
"I free myself from hatred through forgiveness and love. I understand that, suffering, when it can not be avoided, is here to help me on my way to glory"

"I forgive the tears I was made to shed
I forgive the pain and the disappointment
I forgive the betrayals and the lies
I forgive the slanders and the intrigues
I forgive the hatred and the persecution
I forgive the blows that hurt me
I forgive the wrecked dreams
I forgive the still-born hopes
I forgive the hostility and jealousy
I forgive the indifference and ill-will
I forgive the injustice carried out in the name of justice
I forgive the anger and the cruelty
I forgive the neglect and the contempt
I forgive the world and all its evils"
"I understand that all roads meet and all rivers flow in to the same sea. That is why, I am, at this moment, an instrument of forgiveness"
"Dreamers cannot be tamed"
"Spiritual growth doesn't always arrive hand-in-hand with wisdom"
"No one wants to think we'll be saying goodbye shortly and promising to meet up again soon, knowing that the purpose of this promise is simply to make parting easier"

Like there are two sides to every coin, like there are good and bad people in this world, like we all have our good and bad days and like all of us have good and bad aspects in our personalities; this book also had some good and bad stuff in it. I tried and shared both with you here, the choice of including it in your library remains yours. Have a good one! :)